Free starter · The Woman Problem

The Woman Problem — Free Starter

The woman problem is not women. It is what male desire does to male judgment, and the quality of the information that judgment is working with. The book audits claims, which are checkable — not one woman’s decision, which is unknowable. (Introduction)

The TRUTH method: five moves, in order (Introduction, Parts I–V)

• T — Test. Test the claim before you live by it. (Part I)
• R — Read. Read the woman in front of you, not the average. (Part II)
• U — Upgrade. Upgrade what is actually in your control. Do the chapter you do not want to do. (Part III)
• T — Tell. Say what you want. Hear the answer. Telling includes being told. (Part IV)
• H — Hold. Hold on to yourself. The opposite of obsession is not indifference. (Part V)

The Four Tests (chapter 1)

1. Average or person? Is this about a population, or about her?
2. Said or done? Is this what people report, or what they do?
3. Short-term or long-term? Which is being chosen here?
4. Cause or pattern? Would changing X change the outcome?

Most claims fail one immediately.

How the book grades evidence (Introduction)

Solid — replicated, large samples, or meta-analytic. Mixed — real evidence with real limits, or a live disagreement among people who study it. Thin — somebody’s reasoning, possibly the author’s, rather than a finding.

A simple plan for getting started

1. Read straight through, Part I first. (Introduction)
2. This week: write down one thing you believe about women as a flat statement, write the Four Tests underneath, and answer them honestly. Keep the page. (chapter 1)
3. Do the small things at the end of each chapter. (Introduction)
4. At the end, do the page below — about forty minutes, alone, honestly. Then do item seven. (chapter 32)

The page from chapter 32: run the audit on yourself

1. Name the claim you have organized something around — one you have acted on. Write it as a flat sentence.
2. Run the Four Tests against it. Write the answers, not a verdict.
3. Write what it has cost you: what you did not attempt while it was true.
4. Score the three terms you control honestly: Presentation, Presence and Value, out of ten. Leave Fit unscored. Circle the lowest. That is your chapter.
5. Name the sentence you have not said, exactly as you would say it.
6. Name your load-bearing elements. If you cannot reach three, start there.
7. Pick one thing and do it this week. One.

The TRUTH scorecard — one line each. (chapter 32, Figure 22; the Toolkit)

	Ask yourself	My answer
T — Test	Which claim have I organized something around, and does it survive the Four Tests?
R — Read	Am I reading the woman in front of me, or the average?
U — Upgrade	What is my lowest term, and what am I doing about it this month?
T — Tell	Which sentence have I not said, and to whom?
H — Hold	What would still be standing?

Presentation __ / 10 · Presence __ / 10 · Value __ / 10 — circle the lowest. (Fit is not scored.)

The one thing I will do this week: ________________________ (One. Not a program.)

If you need help

If any of it described your situation rather than your reading, turn to “If You Need Help” at the back of the book: free services, several for men specifically. If you are in immediate danger, call the emergency services.

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From The Woman Problem by Sage Voss. Free to read, print or save — no signup.